Starts with Goodbye
by sweetkiwi604
Summary: It wasn't until the end, until there was no time for goodbyes that she realized she'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. Merle/OC. One shot co-written with the very talented wandertogondor. Complete.


**Author's Note: We don't own anything having to do with the Walking Dead only Kara belongs to wandertogondor and myself.**

**Memories are in italic and separated by ***Walking Dead*****

**Any suggestions/comments/critiques are all welcome!**

Starts with Goodbye

The moment his brother's dead cold eyes landed on own crystal blue ones his heart shattered. Every foul word and bad decision that had ever been made was forgotten as Daryl angrily pushed his brother's hungry teeth away from his dirt stained skin. The knife went into Merle's head once, twice, three times and the pain bubbling in Daryl's chest refused to dissipate. He fell onto his back and let out a broken sob for his lost brother. At some point he returned to the prison with his head down and shoulders hunched; then he saw her.

Kara had her back to the youngest Dixon as she worked diligently on a few bolts. Each stroke of the blade over the thin wood was slowly releasing the anger that had built up. Merle hadn't been at the prison for that long before he decided to skip out. She didn't need to hear his reasons or any sorry excuses because it was what Merle did best; leave.

Things got rough with his old man, so he left. Kara and him had gotten a trailer together and two months later he was sent to jail. The apocalypse hit and his crude words got him handcuffed to the roof of a building in Atlanta leaving her with a dysfunctional group. She thought she'd be used to it by now, used to the empty promises of a better tomorrow, but every time he left the loneliness and self doubt crept back in like a dark shadow engulfing her soul. She used the back of her hand to wipe the sweat from her brow and noticed Daryl staring at her with an intensity even she'd never seen before.

"If you're here to make excuses for him you can just save your breath," she gathered up the bolts she had been working on and slid her knife into the sheath attached to her belt. She expected him to just walk away or even scoff at the statement but his piercing blue eyes never wavered from her face. That's when she took in how puffy and red rimmed they were. "Daryl?" she questioned softly as the dread quickly filled her.

"He's-" he started softly but Kara cut him off not ready to hear it.

"Stop!" The word caught in her throat.

Merle could be an inconsiderate asshole but he always came back. He'd leave for lengthy periods of time but he'd come back, he'd come back for her. Daryl swallowed the tears and it was as if the world around her came to a screeching halt.

"He's…" Daryl tried again and caught Kara's elbow just in time as her legs gave out. He sat her down on the dusty ground and leaned her against the brick building for support. "Kare?" he questioned, watching as the life seemed to leave her eyes. He thought for a brief moment he should have gone to get Hershel, that maybe she had slipped into some sort of state but when he went to put his hand on her shoulder she flinched away.

"Don't," she breathed out, moving as far back into the brick wall as possible because if he said it would make it true and Merle always came back. He'd never say goodbye to her. "He'll be back."

Kara leaned against the brick building for awhile concentrating on the simple task of drawing air into her lung and slowly letting it leave her body. She was used to him leaving whether it was physically or mentally but thought of him being gone forever was something she didn't know how to deal with.

"_You doin' okay?" Kara carded her fingers through Merle's sweat drenched hair after he had collapsed in an armchair from having a hard night out partying and huffing God knows what. "Need some water?"_

_His mouth opened to answer but the words were obscured in the foot of air between their faces. Her smoothing fingers running through his hair sent him deeper into sleep than the after affect of the drugs. Kara could smell the booze all over him. It was his only perfume which successfully drowned out the bitter sweet stench of the marijuana._

"_Oh, Dixon," she leaned over to kiss his sweaty forehead, sighing because she was exhausted of taking care of him when she had so many other jobs to get to. Like making sure the electric bill got paid or there was food on their table as an example. "You're gonna have to get off the fast track one of these days, sugar."_

_He shifted restlessly under her hand, twisting and flailing his arms in the constricting armchair. Kara wouldn't dare wake him or even attempt to haul him toward the small bed at the back of the trailer. Draping an old blanket across his shoulders, she slid through the squeaky back door and walked out into the cool night air. Tonight the stars would be her company but she couldn't complain, at least he was home._

_*****Walking Dead*****_

_Kara stumbled in the trailer, peeling off her wet sweater which had been drenched in the rain shower that started on her desperate run back home. Merle was supposed to pick her up from the diner she worked part-time at but she figured he was holed up oozing, boozing, and having a good laugh when he wasn't leaning over the invisible line. She gave him credit though he could still manage to find a good time even though their world was being held together by paperclips and safety pins._

_She shook out her wet hair and pawed at the wall in search of the light switch. Squinting against the sudden brightness, her eyes caught sight of a white plastic box - the box you get from fancy restaurants to put your unfinished food in. Kara undid the thin plastic clasp and her nose was hit with a heavy scent of shrimp and vegetables in a mushroom sauce. Her hand quickly found a fork and she hungrily shoveled the food into her mouth, her stomach grumbling as she ate. Meals like this didn't exactly make their shopping list and she'd be lucky if she had dry cereal during the day._

"_Thought you might like that," Merle said out of the darkness with a small chuckle, sinking back into the darkness that swallowed the armchair he reclined in, a cigarette dangling off his lips._

_Ungracefully wiping her mouth with a stray napkin, Kara straightened herself out and smiled mid-chew, savoring the rich flavor that seemed to fill her empty body. "You know just what I need, sugar."_

_*****Walking Dead*****_

_Kara's eyes were as wide as saucers with hope as she stood in the living room of the empty trailer. Merle and Daryl passed her carrying in the few pieces of furniture they had and various boxes._

"_Don't think she's ever been this quiet," Merle commented with a smirk as he and his brother brought in a worn couch she had paid for at a garage sale._

_Daryl glanced over to her and shrugged his shoulders as he set his end of the couch down, "Maybe ya broke her."_

_The eldest Dixon let out a boisterous laugh and pulled a cigarette from its pack with his teeth. After lighting it he fell back onto the couch and pulled Kara with him, "He right? Do I need to trade ya in or somethin'?"_

"_We did it," she finally spoke with a huge smile on her face, bigger than he had ever seen before. She looked around at the empty walls, it wasn't much but it was theirs. "We have a place to call home."_

The sun had long since settled behind the trees and millions of stars blanketed the darkened sky. The cool night air danced across Kara's bare shoulders but she was numb to everything but the black hole that was imploding from within.

"Shouldn't be out here," Daryl's voice barely met her ears as she kept her unfocused concentration straight in front of her. "You holding up a'right?"

Kara slowly turned her head to face him, her eyes brimming with tears and her jaw clenching when Daryl met her gaze. "Are you?" She inquired just as carelessly. "Your brother just died and you're moving on like…" The words rolled of her tongue and settled into the damp air, immediately disappearing into a world that didn't seem to hear, nor care, anyway.

Without a word, Daryl swung his crossbow off his shoulder and sat beside her, laying his weapon beside him. He cast a sidelong glance at her profile, realizing the dark bags that fell under her once lively eyes. The two sat there for awhile taking silent comfort in each other's presence.

It wasn't until the end, until there was no time for goodbyes that she realized she'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. They didn't have their happily ever after, there was more fights than she could count but the time they did have she'd cherish forever.

Loving Merle Dixon wasn't easy but she was sure that her heart would never belong to anyone else.


End file.
